Afrikan Goddess (AG) Online

The two of you have yelled your frustrations out at each other, you’ve told him never to call you again yet each time the phone rings you’re hoping it’s him. You’re trying to move on but you’re also wondering if you gave up on the relationship too soon. Speculation has it that men are complicated and hard to read, when in actual fact, they cannot be more uncomplicated, and are as easy to read as a book. So, things didn’t work out between you two and now he’s your ex! How do you know he’s staging a comeback and what do you need to see in order to decide whether or not to take him back? Here are five tips from Afrikan Goddess:

He Makes the first move: He is the one to reach out to you, and not the other way around. Men struggle with their egos on a daily basis. Of course the pride of the African male is over the roof (whether justified or not). So, for your ex to set aside his pride and reach out to you an extended hand of “let’s kiss and make up,” it has got to be sincere. If you find yourself in bed with him the first night you’re back together, however, you might want to question his motives, and your sanity!

He looks at you with the same passion: After the two of you have kissed and made up, you realize that he still looks at you with those loving eyes. Or he occasionally asks out loud “why did I ever let you get away from me?” That’s a step in the right direction. He still holds you, hugs you and kisses you with the same passion as when the two of you first met. If he sings “still feels like the first time together,” by Bryan Adams, you know you’re set for life.

He’s changed (or is making an effort to change): You notice that those little annoyances you used to complain about have all but disappeared. He makes the extra effort to place his dish in the sink after he eats. He calls you when he says he’s going to call. He holds your hand in public, and around his other “girlfriends.” He has gotten rid of his little black book, and his phone is now visible and un-coded, and you are free to use it whenever you like. You get the picture.

He doesn’t want to go: You notice that he lingers longer than usual when he visits. Or, he tries to stretch phone conversations even when there’s nothing else to talk about. He sends you frequent text messages to say he’s just checking on you. If he’s lingering just waiting for you to give in to his sexual advances, on the other hand, you may want to question his motives. 

He talks about the breakup and is apologetic: He does not avoid the topic of the breakup. Matter of fact, he’s the one to bring it up and he takes responsibility for his part in why it didn’t work the first time around. He is willing to have the unpleasant conversation of what needs to change and how the two of you can move forward and past the hurt.

Of course, depending on the circumstances that led to the breakup, you may be better off just moving on, but some cases do deserve a second chance. It’s totally up to YOU!