A True Story as told to: N. Amma Twum-Baah, AG Editor. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved. After dragging myself out of bed that morning, I was able to get out of the house long enough to accomplish something. My heart throbbed with a sensation I had never known and my brain kept telling me I was going crazy. The sharp pains in my head almost confirmed that, but it turned out to be nothing a few painkillers couldn’t cure. It’s already been a month, and today I look back on what happened to us and where we’re going with a renewed sense of hope for what the future holds, and with a nervous anticipation of how beautiful life is going to turn out in God’s own time. I anticipate all this with lessons learned, forgiveness in my heart, a sense of utmost peace and an improved attitude on life. Our misunderstanding of love, commitment and promises did not allow Mark and I to see beyond the mistakes we both made and the hurt we caused each other; to see the good in ‘us’. Our union was broken and dismantled by dishonesty, deception, and lies. I loved him the best way I knew how and with everything I had to give, yet after three years together, we could not fix what we had broken, and my husband moved in with another woman. When Mark came into my life, I was sure he was here to stay. He said so with such sincerity; it was hard not to believe he meant it. Mutually agreeing not to force or rush anything, it was refreshing to see our affection and attractions towards each other develop naturally. The day he said the words I had been dying six months to hear, I thought I was going to die of excitement. I still remember the shiver I felt down my spine when I heard him say “I love you.” He said it as if by accident, like he did not mean to go there, which made it even the more endearing. It was a Sunday and I had just come home from church. It was the first time I had been to church in a long time and there was no convincing me otherwise that God wasn’t looking down on me with mercy and love. I savored the moment and, without much hesitation, announced to my girlfriends, who had been skeptical all along about the future of our relationship, and Mark’s love for me. It was like I was saying “shame on you for not believing his love for me is real.” When we first got married, things seemed to be going well until we both neglected to heed our commitment to each other, “to cast aside all others and cling together in unity.” We began to seek the advice and temporary comfort only human beings (whether family/friends or ex partners) can afford us, instead of seeking comfort in each other and in God’s direction and purpose. It breaks my heart that God was not made central in our relationship from the very start. It is actually quite unfortunate because both of us were raised in Christian homes, on Christian principles and values. By the time we attempted to find our way back to the basis, Mark was too far gone, seeking comfort in the arms of an adulteress whose lips dripped with honey and whose speech was smoother than oil (Proverbs 5:3). Owning a part in the failure of any relationship is the first step to the healing process. This experience has allowed me to take a good hard look at myself, and to work hard and diligently to improve those areas of my life that require improvement. Playing the victim and focusing on all the wrong I believe was done to me is enough to make any person lose sight of what’s really important in life. When that happens, we stand the risk of missing out on God’s blessings. A wounded heart so focused on seeking revenge is always likely to be consumed with hate and ill thoughts. A wounded heart focused on finding God, amidst the pain and the hurt, is consumed with love for the enemy, forgiveness for the unforgivable, and care for those I need not care about. That’s how I know I have found the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding: The fact that I can pray for my enemies and wish them God’s grace and favor and harbor no resentments. One thing to remember: “Never Let Hate Take Over.” It will consume your happiness and sense of well-being in such a way that you may never be able to recover. No human being holds their destiny in the palm of their hands. We are here but for a minute and in a twinkle of an eye, the man you kissed goodbye in the morning could be gone in the afternoon, or the man who looked deep in your eyes and promised you forever one night could be looking another woman in her eyes and promising her forever the next night. It is quite unfortunate that most often, people need to find themselves broken and in despair to the point where we find we have no place else to look but up. Have you ever felt driven to your knees because there was nowhere else to go? It is a humbling experience for the proud and a point at which we express our weakness before God. It is like you’ve been standing tall all the while and before you know it; there you are not too close from the ground. Have you ever thought of why this happens to us – human beings? I have been here several times. Yet, each time, God in all his mercy, goodness and grace has taken me by the hand, stood me up on my feet, dusted me off and straightened the path before me while admonishing, “Do not stray from the path I have set before you, if you can. I will give you strength, but I will also give you the choice.” While admonishing, God also assures me that should I try hard, yet fall again, he’s forever merciful and will be right there to teach me my lessons and set me back on the straight and narrow path. It is a relationship you share with God only (and only) if you’re considered a child of his. Today, I am slowly waking up from the dream of forever I had hoped was true, and I am focusing on the dreams that God promised me from the very beginning of time – before I even knew the wrong turns I would choose to take in life. God has given us the freedom of choice. Some choose the path that leads to destruction. But those who follow the path God has paved for them finally get to their destination where dreams and promises are bigger, better and brighter than they could have ever dreamed or imagined; or what any man could ever promise you. Live these truths and apply them to your thinking, and you will open yourself to the blessings God is waiting to pour out to you. You will be surprised what casting your burdens unto God will do for you. When you lay your cares at his feet and let him take control over your life, you will find yourself free to live and free to love again. And those broken dreams and promises just might turn out to be your blessings in disguise! Listen to the lessons God is teaching you if you consider yourself wise!
I was moved to tears by this inspirational piece, yet at the same time I was encouraged and inspired to look to God and trust in him and let him take control. Thanks so much for sharing this. I am really really touched. The piece is rather sad. However, if things were meant to be they will be. We go through life’s motions not knowing what the future holds. With relationships what I have come to learn is that your partners become your best friend whom you talk to about everything and anything. Communication is key, and seeing the good in each other is most important. Least to say find the positive in all this and use it in the future. God is in control This is a very touching and disheartening article but with a healed soul. The emotion expressed in this article from the writer’s version has drained my heart out of commitment. |
