Afrikan Goddess (AG) Online

By: AG Editorial Staff

Culture predicts human attitudes and expectations and can sometimes place unnecessary burdens on the people within that culture. Men expect women to know how to cook and not just that; but to actually cook for them frequently. Women expect men to be able to take care of them, and not just that; but to actually take care of them – and that includes picking up the tab on every occasion while the two are dating. While times have changed, and some attitudes and expectations have changed, men still expect women to cook for them, and women still expect men to pay for whatever she wants. To the best of our knowledge, many women have (and are still) lived up to their end of the bargain. However, some men are trying to be dodgy when it comes to dating – both at home and abroad.

To ensure that ladies are protecting themselves and being smart on the dating scene, Afrikan Goddess compiled these 5 reasons why every woman should have money in her purse even if she is totally convinced that her date will “culturally” step up to the plate by covering all expenses during their outing. Whatever you choose to believe, however, remember: Anything can happen.

He Irritates You: The two of you get to the restaurant, you’re relaxed and he has ordered an expensive bottle of merlot (because he’s trying to show off). As you delicately sip on the $55 glass of wine your eyes meet and you feel his shoe riding up your leg. Of course, it is your second date so you felt a lot more comfortable dolling yourself up in that short, sexy black dress. You know the one they say every woman ought to have at least one of? He takes that to mean you’re ready to play footsie. At first you don’t mind because you think he’s being cute and funny. You smile. He takes that to mean consent and rides his leg up a little further. You shoot him a look of disapproval as you shake your head. Having been trained to think women mean “yes” when they say “no,” he ignores you but lowers his foot. Somewhere in between the arrival of the appetizers and your second glass you feel his foot riding up your legs again. Now he’s just making you uncomfortable but you don’t want to ruin the evening so you pull your chair back a little so he can’t reach you. He smiles and stops. Midway through dinner and between all the laughing and talking, you feel he has behaved himself to a point where you feel comfortable moving your chair forward only for his foot to be right up your thigh this time.

Have Money in Your Purse or Not? If you do, you can pay for your dinner and leave him sitting there looking like a fool after you have told him what a scumbag you think he is. How dare he think you’re that kind of woman? Then, hail yourself a taxi.

If you don’t, you can just sit there and hope he behaves while wanting to throw your dinner in his face. Since you don’t have money, you can’t do that. You have no choice but to sit there and take it because he’s your ride home and you have no cash in your cute purse!

He Leaves You Stranded: The two of you have made it through dinner and a movie and on the drive home you find yourselves arguing over your opinions of the movie. He liked it, you didn’t. His favorite actress played her part well and was looking sexy, you thought she put on a poor performance and is not even that pretty. Why do men think she’s hot when you look ten times better than she does anyway? What starts out as a light disagreement between the two of you has now escalated into an exchange of heated words because you said his actress didn’t look as hot as he thought she did. You proceed to remind him that he’s not that good-looking himself and probably couldn’t get her to go to bed with him even if he tried. Now you’ve just pissed him off! He pulls the car over on the interstate as you look at him in confusion. You think he is pulling over because he cannot argue and drive at the same time. Your confusion turns to panic as you realize he has stepped out of the car, is walking around to your side and is reaching for the door handle. You try to lock the door but it’s too late. He has the door open now and is ordering you to get out of his *f…. car. There is nothing more pathetic than to see a well dressed lady who is totally unprepared for incidences such as these.

Have Money in Your Purse or Not? If you do, you can dial 411 for the number of the local taxi company and have them pick you up (or you can call a friend if you still have any).

If you don’t, you can still call a friend to come and get you if you haven’t been ignoring her since you started dating “Mr. whatever his name” who just ditched you in the middle of nowhere. Or, you can pray he regrets his decision and comes back to get you. Or, you can walk to the nearest sign of human activity and seek help. Oh, and make sure you lose his number!

You Don’t Want to Feel Pressured to Give in to His Advances: This is where who should pay, and why, becomes a little tricky. These days they say there is nothing like a free meal. A man no longer takes a woman out to dinner to wine and dine her just to take her back to her apartment and hug her goodnight night after night after night in the parking lot. Maybe the first two dates; yes. After that, he’s expecting you to invite him in for “coffee” – even though he doesn’t drink coffee.

Have Money in Your Purse or Not? If you do, you can buy your own drinks at the club, or pay for half of the dinner tab, or leave the tip at lunch. That way, you can comfortably keep hugging him goodnight in the parking lot without feeling you owe him your most valued possession because he paid for drinks.

If you don’t, you can keep taking the “free” drinks and dinners without the confidence of knowing you owe him nothing for all he’s dishing out. If anything is going to happen, it should happen on your terms. There’s nothing special, romantic or fun about giving in to a man because you feel pressured to do so.

You Need to Leave Earlier than Planned: Many women expect their friends to know what they like or can stand in a man. So, if your girlfriend knows you like men with nice cars and she sets you up on a blind date with a man who hitched a ride from his friend, you know she’s just being vindictive. Or she knows you like men with chocolate brown skin, of a certain height with straight white pearly teeth and debonair looks, yet she sets you up with a man who has chocolate brown skin, crooked teeth and who looks like he just got electrocuted by an electric fence. Your friend has raved about her suave looking friend Steven for ages and you’re excited to meet him. He asked that you meet him at the restaurant and though you’re wondering why he didn’t offer to pick you up, you show up anyway. You’ve ordered yourself drinks and appetizers because you’ve already been waiting thirty minutes (not a good sign). A man fitting our “electrocuted” description walks through the door and you overhear him asking the waiter for you by name. You want to hide under the table; instead you swallow hard, force a smile and try to be polite as he introduces himself. Five minutes later you find out that not only does this man not fit the description of your ideal man; he bores you to death and talks a lot of nonsense.

Have Money in Your Purse or Not? If you do, you can pay for your drinks and appetizers (and maybe offer to pay for his as compensation for his “time,”) without having to wait painfully through dinner hoping he has enough money to foot the bill.

If you don’t, you have to do just that: sit painfully through dinner hoping he has enough money to foot the bill.

He Forgets His Wallet At Home: Now this is something every woman hopes will never happen to her. Unfortunately, this is an imperfect world, and men are human too: they make mistakes (that cost you both a lot). You have made it through the lobster fest at your favorite restaurant and the check arrives. You have thanked your date for such a wonderful meal and you can’t wait to get home so you can loosen your belt and breathe easy. He reaches for the check, glances it over, a look of panic overcomes his face, he sets the check down and starts patting his pant pockets, then his shirt pocket. Just as you seem to have figured out what is going on, he gives you a sheepish look and says “babe I think I left my wallet at home.”

Have Money in Your Purse or Not? If you do, you can ask the waiter to split the bill, pay for your half, and leave him to do the dishes to pay off what he owes the restaurant. Or you can be a lady about it and just pick up the tab. This will show him you were not to be bought in the first place and that you can “carry your own.”

If you don’t, you can join him in the kitchen to wash the dishes to pay off what you both owe the restaurant.

In the days of old, women didn’t have to deal with these problems because men respected themselves and they respected women. Unfortunately, this is the world we live in now so it doesn’t hurt to be prepared, ladies. Carry a wad of cash with you on your next date and save yourself a lot of trouble!