Written By: N. Amma Twum-Baah
It isn’t unusual to hear a mother vow to be there to see her children grow into healthy, strong, responsible adults. All this, while ignoring her own emotional and physical health. In the midst of today’s dual roles and assignments women have delegated upon themselves, it is not surprising that mothers find themselves lost in a massive sea of responsibility with no end in sight, and no real rewards at the end of the day. In general, women are blessed with the emotional resource of being naturally giving and nurturing individuals, yet too often we neglect our own needs, our own happiness and our own health for the sake of others, and to our own detriment. One day set aside every year to focus on mothers and to appreciate their continuous efforts is a wonderful initiative, but not enough hours to fully put forth the contributions women, especially mothers, make to the ultimate good of society.
Afrikan Goddess polled women – mostly mothers - and came up with the top five things modern African women must do to pamper themselves, and to ensure their own emotional and physical health. Many of the suggestions were practical, and won’t cause you to break the bank this Mother’s Day. You might want to try them.
Sleep More: On the average, mothers polled - especially those with young children - said they slept an average of 5 hours a day. Those with both young children and full-time careers admitted they sleep even less, with an average of about 4 hours. According to medical experts, 7 to 8 hours of sleep is the ideal amount for adults, but nothing less than 6 hours. Obviously, the mothers polled are sleep deprived even though many of them said they feel fine after having done so for so long.
Lack of adequate sleep causes symptoms such as weight gain, circles, puffiness and redness of the eyes, depression, fatigue, short tempers, wrinkles and early signs of aging. No wonder it is not unusual to note that mothers usually look twice the age of their motherless counterparts.
Exercise: Exercise increases blood flow throughout the body and leaves one feeling energized and active. Plus, there are several other health benefits to keeping a regular exercise regimen. Not only do you decrease your chances of heart disease and weight issues, you feel good on the inside, and that in turn reflects on the outside.
A brisk walk or quick jog around the neighborhood will do wonders for your energy level. You’ll be amazed how a little exercise will boost your health, happiness and your entire attitude!
Spend Time with Girlfriends: Culturally, it is noted that when women get hitched, they slowly drift away from their girlfriends. Once the first baby arrives, female friends are slowly alienated as the new mother becomes more and more preoccupied with her new responsibility of being a mother. This is a global trend among women no matter their cultural background. Married women in most African societies are the sole caretakers of the home. This leaves very little time for socializing.
Several studies have shown that there are life-saving benefits to keeping your girlfriends close. Women with close girlfriends, with whom they can safely share their secrets, stresses, and thoughts, are much happier.
So, if it means scheduling time to spend with your girlfriends, so be it – make the time! You’ll be amazed how refreshed you will feel afterwards. It may also be wise to leave the baby at home.
Note also, not all girlfriends are worth holding on to, especially after you start a family. It is advisable to filter your friends, and to know those that genuinely have your interest and those who do not.
Be in Tune Spiritually: Spiritual development is an aspect of life that is often underestimated in our busy lives. But, studies have shown that prayer and spiritual involvement are strongly associated with lower stress levels. Many of the women we polled maintained that one thing that has kept them sane is prayer.
Ironically, Mother’s Day usually falls on a Sunday! A good day to go out and shout out some hallelujah praises.
Take Care of YOU: Women also stressed the importance of personal grooming - of keeping the baby weight off and trying to get back the appearance they had before the children came along. As noted by Akosua, one of the women polled, when her friend saw her for the first time after the birth of her second child, the look on her face was enough to make her go home and take a look at herself in the mirror. What she saw, she says, horrified her. She immediately booked an appointment with her hairdresser and started walking twice a day – in the morning and in the evening.
Get your nails done, get a haircut, tend to the undergrowth showing underneath your braids, get a hair relaxer, get out of your husband’s frumpy sweats, lose the ball cap and update your wardrobe. Maternity clothes cease being considered fashionable once the baby arrives. In short, go back to being who you were before the baby interrupted your fashionistic, glamorous world.
Whoever came up with the mistaken belief that having children means a woman must stop living her life did us all a huge disfavor. We all know that miserable people do not make other people happy. Happy people make other people happy. So, get happy! Treat yourself to something invaluable this mother’s day – a new emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy YOU! You’ll be happy you did, and so will those around you.
Happy Mother’s Day!
