Afrikan Goddess (AG) Online

By: AG Staff (September 1, 2009)

Gone are the days when women were all about getting the ring, the keys to the BMW and the “Mrs.” Title. Many could not wait to marry their boyfriends so they could assume his identity and bask in his shadow of accomplishments and fame. Today, women the world over are increasingly assuming identities for themselves well into their early to late thirties. They are basking in their own glory, and many do not see the need to risk having that identity foiled once they decide to say “I do.” As a result, many African women are increasingly following the trend by choosing to keep their maiden names when they get married; while many are choosing to combine their maiden names with that of their husband’s last name in an attempt to strike some sort of balance.

According to a recent study by Indiana University, 70% of the survey respondents agreed or strongly agreed that a woman should take her husband’s name when she marries. Many have argued that such responses coming from a conservative state like Indiana, is not surprising. But, what if the tables were turned, and the survey was posed to a group of liberals in say, the University of Maryland, would the results be different? What about the African population (and other foreign groups) who have adopted many western practices including the name change practice that comes with being married? Will the results be conservative, or liberal?

Afrikan Goddess recently conducted its very own poll in which 54% of respondents said a woman is not required to take her husband’s name when she marries. And the remaining 46% said a married woman should assume her husband’s name. The reasons for the responses varied, but many agreed that having a woman change her name to that of her husband’s is an archaic practice that no longer holds much water in today’s society of gender equality, with an increased number of women claiming independence from men, and many having acquired their own professional identities.

Sample of Reasons for “No” Responses – 54%

Some respondents said the option of whether or not to make that change should be left up to the woman. “Though it is endearing to have a couple share a last name, it creates unnecessary headaches when there’s an end to the marriage.”

Some said women are increasingly waiting longer to get hitched. Many get married after they turn 30, by which time they understandably would have established some kind of professional identity for themselves. For those whose careers are focused on the arts such as writing, acting, singing and so on, a name change can be a difficult and confusing transition for their already established fan base, as well as for themselves.

Other respondents argued that online trends make it difficult for the tradition of name changes to really still hold. With online social networking fast becoming the primary means of keeping in touch with (and finding) old friends and family, co-workers, and just about anybody else, when a woman changes her maiden name it makes it difficult for her to be found in the cyber world. “It is like she no longer exists. She has become a whole different person, and that makes her hard to find.”

Several others also argued that the name change requirement no longer holds true because the ancient notion that a woman becomes the property of her husband after marriage no longer holds true in the 21^st century. “Requiring that a woman change her identity will be like forcing the woman to accept that she is property when she’s not.”

Sample of Reasons for “Yes” Responses – 46%

Many argued that having the same last name depicts that bond of togetherness, and oneness that marriage is supposed to symbolize. “A woman who takes on her husband’s name is declaring her undying love and devotion to her husband by respecting his honor and role as the head of the household.”

Some said choosing to keep one’s maiden name is a signal that the woman has already spelled doom in her marriage. “She has one foot in and the other foot out the door, and is planning to run at the slightest sign of trouble.”

Others argued that in the event that such a marriage produces children, having the same last name across the board helps to recognize that single family union. It creates an identity crisis in cases where the family travels together. “In a marriage where children are involved, traveling with the same surname leads to less questions being asked of your relationship with the children than if everyone had different surnames.”

As mentioned before, this issue is debatable depending on which side of the aisle you’re standing. We welcome your contributions and thoughts to the issue discussed above. Do you think a woman should change her name to that of her husband’s? Why? Have you had an experience or dilemma with this issue, please share your story below.