Afrikan Goddess (AG) Online

Written by Joyce Nana Adwoa Banuaku

 

She looked so beautiful walking down the aisle, glowing with such joy and admiration for her soon-to-be husband, and I was happy for my best friend. So how come it did not reflect on my face? Why was there such pain in my heart? The music was melodic, romantic and touching and love was in the air. I watched her as she floated down the aisle in her pure white dress with her beautifully arranged bouquet, toward the man she was to marry this day, and my eyes welled up.  I tried to pass them on as happy tears, but the truth is that my heart was breaking. Don’t get me wrong, I was very happy for her. We had both talked about this day since we were still teenagers in secondary school. We had dreamed of this day, envisioned this day and seen this day in our dreamy worlds. I just thought that when it did happen, I would at least have some prospects; yet here I stood beside my best friend, on her wedding day, at age 30 and I didn’t even have a date!

 

Sherrie and I have been best friends since that first day we both arrived on the campus of the all girls’ Catholic boarding school as scared as a mouse and so uncertain of what was in store. We bonded as we nervously sat in an empty classroom waiting for the other students to arrive, all the while very aware of the current students who walked by the open window with mean glares, waiting to pounce on us as soon as we were released into “the wild.” We did everything together from that day on: walked to class together, sat together in the school cafeteria, avoided the older students like a plague – together, and got into trouble together … we were practically inseparable. After graduation, we both applied to the University and were accepted. We looked forward to beginning our lives away from home without supervision of any sort (one that came with lots of freedom). We were already planning which halls to apply to, how we would go off to cool places with the boys and be our own women for the first time, without having someone constantly looking over our shoulders.

 

So, when Sherrie applied to and was accepted to a University in the United States I was devastated because it would be the first time in seven years we would actually be apart. And I would have to face the first years of college without my friend by my side. Somehow, I survived and two years later I was able to secure a visa to visit. Several visits later, I became a permanent resident of the United States, and the good ‘ol fun resumed. Then another separation – Sherrie called me one day out of the blue to announce she had accepted a job as a corporate executive in Atlanta and would be moving. Once again we said our good-byes and my best friend turned sister-I-never-had moved miles across states to assume her new life. We would talk every night on the phone after that. Whenever I could, I visited, and vice versa. So, on this special day, I thought, “I should be genuinely happy for my friend” and I was but it wasn’t showing in the moment.

 

As I stood watching her walk towards us, I remembered that fateful night exactly a year ago when Sherrie called me to announce her engagement. I was just stepping out the shower when I heard the phone ring. “He asked, he asked me!” she shrieked so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear. “He asked you what?! Why are you yelling?! Calm down, I can barely make any sense outta what you’re saying!” She calmed down long enough to explain that Yaw had asked her to marry him then went back to shrieking, “Girl, you should see the size of this rock! It was so romantic, the way he asked, the way he proposed. He looked so cute on his knee. Nana, can you believe I’m getting married?” Truthfully and painfully, I replied “NO!”

 

I had met Yaw at an African gathering a few years back and though I saw potential, I wasn’t quite ready to move on, having just broken up with Kobby. When Yaw told me he lived in ATL I told him I knew just the person for him – I was not getting involved in another long distance relationship anyway. So, I set it up for Sherrie and Yaw to meet. They did eventually and the feedback I got from Sherrie wasn’t so optimistic. Sherrie is a very picky person – he wasn’t tall enough for her. Yaw and I remained friends and called each other to catch up occasionally. One night as we were on the phone laughing up a storm I realized, “oh my God, I’m an idiot. I just handed this guy to my best friend and now I find myself attracted to him!” So began my woes. I, however consoled myself with the fact that the relationship between Sherrie and Yaw wouldn’t last as I thought to myself “she’s going to find a way to ruin this one too, this isn’t gonna last.” Though I was aware of the fact that even if their relationship didn’t last, I still couldn’t date Yaw because of the “sister bond/silent pact, I couldn’t help what I was feeling. Well, that didn’t happen and now, here they were getting married and I was her maid of honor.

 

I had tried to live a righteous life; I went to church every Sunday and genuinely worshipped God. I prayed like I was supposed to and tithed faithfully. I was every man’s dream – educated, beautiful, intelligent, independent, classy and responsible – and yet somehow every man managed to pass me by. And now I was envious of my best friend for marrying the one guy who could have been mine if I hadn’t been so busy mending a broken heart. What was a girl to do?

 

Just like the good friend that I am, have always been and will always be, I plastered a smile on my face and watched Yaw, my potential soul mate, and my best friend Sherrie, say “I do.” The rest of the ceremony and the reception was a blur.

 

About the Author

 

(Nana Adwoa - as she prefers to be called - is a journalist and freelance photographer. She lives in Houston, Texas with her husband and three young children.)