Afrikan Goddess (AG) Online

By: AG Editorial Staff, September 4, 2009

It is a widely known fact that a woman’s sexual stimulation is directly linked to her emotional and mental state of being. When the word foreplay is mentioned, many men automatically think of the physical things like kissing and petting to stimulate a woman’s sexual senses. But, it’s not as clear cut as one may make it seem. It takes more than just the physical to get a woman ready for the sexual act.

For many women, the concept of foreplay starts with the basic things many men take for granted, then graduates to the secondary things that play upon the basic things to finally get to the ultimate goal of sexual satisfaction between the sheets. Afrikan Goddess did a little research among African women willing to tell, and came up with the two stages of foreplay – the primary stage, and the secondary stage. Any man who wants his woman to experience the ultimate satisfaction of the end result of foreplay will heed these tips.

Primary Foreplay (mental/emotional): Women know when a man is just saying things to get her into bed, and many don’t appreciate this patronizing act. One respondent said she always knew when her husband wanted sex, or was headed there because it was the only time he would tell her how beautiful her hair was – even if it was a complete mess. “He would just give compliments all over the place even when there was nothing to compliment. It would be followed by a kiss on the neck and then it goes from there. Most of the time, I was an irritated, unwilling participant!”

Instead of giving meaningless compliments, help out with the dishes, help out with the laundry, rub your woman’s feet, hold her hand in public, put your arm around her waist while walking around the mall, give little “just because you’re you” kisses that don’t signal you just want sex, give her little pecks at the movies, compliment her when others are watching and not just in private. The general consensus is that the “forehead kiss” is so endearing it usually does the trick. Basically, stay away from the obvious “I’m just trying to get some” indicators.

One respondent shared the story of the best sex she ever had with her boyfriend. She came home from Church one Sunday and noticed that he had mopped the kitchen floor and had done the dishes. “At first, I did not notice. I noticed he had this mischievous grin on his face as soon as I walked in the door, but I was mad at him for refusing to go to church with me, I was not even in the mood to ask him what was going on. As I started taking things out of the refrigerator to start cooking lunch, I noticed that the mop was sitting in the middle of the floor, and not where I usually kept it. Then I noticed that the sink was empty and spotless (not the way I left it that morning before rushing out the door). I was thrilled! I was turned on and I just wanted to do it right there on the kitchen floor! It was so clean! We ended up doing it right there on the kitchen counter. That was the end of the fight, and the best sex we ever had. It was so spontaneous! I was wet just from looking at the sparkling kitchen floor!”

Secondary Foreplay (physical): By the time a couple gets to the secondary stage, the woman is usually already turned on mentally, but not wet enough to be penetrated. She is already turned on by your kind words, the public show of affection, and the way you complimented her in front of your family and friends. At this point, it’s up to both of you to move in for the kill. A woman who is not sexually timid will know how to guide you.

Secondary foreplay, however, should not be prolonged because many women by the time they get to the secondary stage of foreplay are almost ready for the ride and have a short tolerance level for fondling. At this point, she’s probably thinking “let’s just do it already!”

Know, however, that the way women view foreplay varies depending on various factors: how she was raised; how she views herself – self-esteem; her life experiences; her views on the sexual act - her understanding of foreplay; and how good a man is in getting those sexual urges going. With some women, nothing you do will trigger any amount of sexual urge due to any of the above factors. The bottom line is that all women are different so what works for one might not necessarily work for another. It is very important to study what turns your woman on. Discovery is the name of the game. Once you find a spot/method, don’t hang there for dear life. It will irritate her quicker than you think.

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